Stop Marketing Like It’s 2021: The New Seesaw of Visibility and Trust

This week alone, I’ve had the same two conversations at least half a dozen times: 

1. “I’m posting on social, advertising, being seen, doing all the right things… but it’s not converting.” 

1. “If I could just get in front of the right people, I know I’d land it. I’m just not getting the opportunity to have those conversations.” 

Do either of these sound familiar? 

On the surface, they seem like opposites - different people, different problems, different frustrations. 
Some were experiencing one. A few were stuck in both. 

But underneath, they share the same root cause. 

And while the experience of the challenge is different, the solution is the same. 
It’s like a doctor prescribing the same antidote for two different symptoms, the presentation may vary, but the imbalance underneath is identical. 

They’re two sides of the same coin, both tracing back to the same gap. 

Visibility on its own isn’t enough. 
And neither is connection on its own, anymore. 

What actually creates traction in 2025 (and moving into 2026) is when your digital presence and your experiential presence are working together. 

That’s the middle ground. 

Not passive visibility - hoping someone stumbles across your genius online.  .
Not isolated touchpoints - hoping that the personal message or email, in person networking event or coffee catch-up is enough to both get attention and land the deal. 

But a space where the two meet. 
Where your content builds credibility before you reach out… 
And your presence reinforces it after you do. 

The Seesaw Effect: Why One-Sided Marketing Doesn’t Work 

Picture a seesaw with just one person on it. 

Technically, it might move a little. You might get a few bounces off the ground. Maybe you’ll strengthen your calves in the process. 

But mostly, you’re just bouncing - pushing, trying, working harder than you should need to. 

You’re pushing… bouncing… putting in the effort. But without the counterbalance, you’re not gaining lift. Just effort. 

It’s like a bear on one side and a mouse on the other - all the weight is skewed. No momentum. 

That’s what happens when one part of your presence is doing all the heavy lifting, and the other is missing. 

Whether it’s all digital (posting, sharing, emailing) or all experiential (conversations, coffees, referrals), you end up doing a lot more work to get a lot less movement. 

But when both sides are present, when your online presence and your real-world presence are in sync, and singing from the same song sheet - that’s when the seesaw balances. 
That’s when you get leverage. 

Your digital presence becomes the doorway. 
Your experiential presence becomes the reason people WANT to stay connected. 

And whether people meet you first online or in person, they’ll almost always go looking for the other. 

They’ll want to know: 

• Does this person match the energy they share online? 
   
  In fact, research from Gartner shows that 83% of buyers make their decision before they ever reach out. 
  
  Which means your digital presence must do the heavy lifting, It needs to reflect not just what you do - but how you do it, and why that difference matters. It needs to demonstrate your uniqueness, not just claim it. 

• Do their words align with how they show up in real life? 

• Is the polish backed by presence? 

• Is there an “ick factor” I haven’t seen yet? 

And if there’s a disconnect, even a subtle one - it raises invisible red flags. 
They might not even know why they’re hesitating. They’ll just feel it. 

The Congruency Detector (a.k.a. The BS Radar)

We all have it now - that quiet, subconscious filter that detects when something’s off.
You can call it gut feel. Intuition. Or as I like to say: the congruency detector.

And in the AI era - where everyone has access to good words and slick tools - that detector is more sensitive than ever.

People are tuning in, not just to what you say, but how you show up.

They’ll say things like: 

“I’ll come back to this later.” 
“I’m too busy to think about this right now.” 
“Something doesn’t quite feel quite right.” 

Meanwhile, you're wondering why it's not landing, why your efforts aren’t converting. 

Selling Like It’s 2021? Here's Why That’s Not Working Anymore 

There was a moment - not that long ago, when digital alone could carry the weight of your pipeline. 
Funnel > Email > Booking > Sale. 

I know. I was the happy beneficiary of a lot of it.  

I'd get an email pop up and there it was, the equivalent of a month’s salary, on its way to my bank account - all because someone had read my content, felt aligned, and taken action. 

But that moment has passed. Audiences have evolved. The noise has multiplied. Trust is thinner. 

I'm grateful that my clients had amazing experiences and stayed around for the long-term, But many others tried to copy the surface of what they saw “in the know” people doing - and unsuspecting customers ended up disappointed, jaded, and distrustful. The result is it shifted the whole way people buy.  

And it’s not a reflection of you. It’s a reflection of a market shift.  

And now? If you’re a smart person, running a legitimate business, still trying to build your business solely through polished content and a clever caption, it’s like trying to sell Tiffany jewelry through a letterbox drop. 

It’s not that the product isn’t valuable. 
It’s that the medium no longer matches the depth of the offering. 

Especially if you’re in the services, knowledge, or experience-based business. 
People don’t just want information. 
They want you. The real you. The one who shows up with depth, energy, and clarity. 

Why Congruence is the New Currency of Trust

In a world flooded with polished content and perfectly worded posts, congruence has become the new currency of trust.

It’s not just about looking good online - it’s about feeling “real” everywhere.

Congruence is  the thread that connects who you are, how you show up, what you say, and how people feel in your presence - across every touchpoint.

What they see online should match how you walk into a room - and how you show up in a meeting

And right now, that thread is the difference between “nice content” and “I want to be in their orbit.”

If your digital presence is polished but your sales engagement strategy or client delivery falls flat, trust erodes.

If your in-person energy is magnetic, but your socials are silent or stiff, you’re missing opportunities to stay top of mind and be referrable.

And if your outreach is transactional while your positioning says “personal,” the disconnect is felt - even if people can’t quite name it.

This is why congruence it’s no longer optional.
It’s the trust builder, the conversion enabler, and the soul of your brand.

Thoughtful Content is Positioning, Not Selling 

The purpose of your digital presence isn’t to close the deal. 
It’s to answer the questions already in your audience’s mind: 

• Who are you? 

• What are you about? 

• What do you know that could help me? 

• What kind of energy do you bring into a room or an engagement? 

• Can I trust you? 

When your content, your social posts, blogs, videos, interviews - answers those questions clearly and consistently, people start to feel like they already know you. 

They’ve seen your perspective. 
They’ve felt your conviction. 
They already believe you can help. 

And by the time you reach out (or they do), the conversation is warmer. 

You’re not justifying your value. 
You’re not explaining who you are. 
You’re simply exploring the fit.

You’re solving a problem, not selling yourself. 

From Seen to Felt: How We Really Build Trust

Visibility might get you seen.
But it’s felt experience that gets you chosen.

People don’t trust brands because they’ve seen them five times.
They trust when they feel a sense of humanity. Consistency. Care.

That’s why thoughtful content matters - not just because it’s strategic, but because it’s relational.
It shows who you are when no one’s watching. It tells a story over time. It reflects a depth that goes beyond algorithms.

But trust really kicks in when people experience you - whether in a short conversation, a long-term program, or a simple DM that actually feels like you.

That shift,  from “seen” to “felt” , is the journey that turns strangers into connections, connections into clients, and clients into advocates.

The New Visibility Equation: Pre + Post + Presence 

In this new landscape, it’s not about whether digital or experiential is more important. 

It’s about how they work together - like bookends. 

Your digital presence can: 

• Warm people up before you reach out 

• Reinforce your value after a conversation 

• Create scalable pathways for people to “find” you without pressure 

Your experiential presence can: 

• Deepen trust 

• Build emotional resonance 

• Turn a spark of interest into a deeper connection 

Your experiential presence also reveals energetic congruence. 

• Does the feel of you in person match what they’ve seen online? 

• Does your sales process align with your voice - warm, clear, respectful? 
• Do the dots connect emotionally and practically? 

It’s a both/and equation. 

And the preeminence may shift depending on the season, you might go through high-touch sprints or more online visibility phases, but the long game? 
It’s built on integration. 

Your digital presence also keeps you top of mind, especially with your existing network and referral partners. 

You’re not necessarily “marketing” to them… you’re simply reminding them that you’re active, aligned, and still doing work that matters. 

When you keep showing up with relevance and resonance, you’re far more likely to be thought of when opportunities arise. 

Your experiential presence acts as a truth-check. 

It confirms that the person they saw online - the tone, the positioning, the promise - is actually who you are. 

That’s the congruency detector. It says: 
“Yes, this person is the real deal.” 

And when that clicks, everything else becomes easier 

Reframing Digital Credibility & Experiential Connection

 Let’s make this simple:

• Digital builds credibility.

• Experience builds connection.

You need both.

Your digital presence says:
“Here’s who I am. Here’s what I do. Here’s why I’m worth listening to.”

Your experiential presence says:
“You can trust me. I’m safe. I’m legit. I’m exactly who I said I was.”

In high-value services, it’s not just about content or conversions.
It’s about congruence across the customer journey.

They may find you online, but they say yes because they feel seen when they meet you - whether that’s on Zoom, at a dinner, or in your sales process.

And when both match?
That’s when your brand starts to breathe trust.

Balancing the Seesaw for Real Momentum 

If your visibility efforts aren’t converting, or your conversations aren’t generating enough new leads, it’s not a sign that you’re doing something wrong. 

It’s a sign that one side of your seesaw might need more weight. 

And the good news? You don’t need to start from scratch. 

You just need to bridge the gap between what people see online and what they experience in real life... 

So ask yourself: 

• Does my content reflect how I actually show up? 

• Does my presence back up the promise I’m making online? 

• Is there congruence between my ideas, my energy, and the experience people have with me? 

If you can bring those into alignment, that’s when the momentum kicks in. 

That’s when the seesaw lifts. 

That’s when the work feels easier, because the weight is finally balanced. 

The Grandma Letterbox Test

In my book Marketing Me, I share a simple metaphor I call The Grandma Letterbox Test.

Picture this:
You come home to a stack of envelopes in the mailbox. Bills. Junk mail. More bills.
But then you spot one -  handwritten, warm, familiar.

It’s a letter from your grandma.

Your whole nervous system softens.
You exhale. You open it with care.
Not because of what it says…
But because of who it’s from.

That’s how your content, your messaging, and your presence should feel.

Not like another pushy promotion or transactional interruption.
But like something people are glad to receive.

That’s the difference between content that pressures…
And presence that’s personal.

And in a world of constant noise?
Being the one they want to hear from is your greatest asset of all.